Frozen Moment
by Thenaughtypixie
Summary: A short scene which focuses on a single moment in which Arthur struggles with his emotions after seeing Merlin use magic.  What emotions will prevail and how will Arthur ultimately face them?


Frozen Moment

A few seconds can destroy the very World you thought you knew.  
Suddenly, there is no solid ground beneath your feet, nothing to keep the moment from changing you forever.

Arthur stood behind Merlin, the room was spinning and he felt a sick truth rising within him. He had been right all along. All the doubts and suspicions he had carried silently for so long were suddenly realised in a single moment. Merlin was a sorceror.

The light which emanated from Merlins hand as he cast a spell with ancient words was at once beautiful and frightening. The power that he released sent the knight flying across the room, promptly knocking him out as he crashed into the opposite wall. Arthur was afraid. Afraid? Him?

Seeing magic more powerful than an entire army, more destructive than his best knights but most of all a power that was illegal, Arthur knew then that he was afraid for his friend.

Arthur still felt dizzy from where the knight had knocked him out from behind but then with a jolt realised that Merlin didn't know he was witnessing his secret so vulnerably. Arthur felt a deep fear rising in him, for in a moment Merlin would surely turn around, see Arthur watching and Arthur was scared for him. Scared for what Merlin would see in him.

Then it hit him as hard as Merlins spell had hit the knight. Merlins magic was used to _protect_. Thoughts in Arthurs mind raced in every direction making him feel nauseous. Images flashed in his head like dreams.

_Merlin..He rescued me from drowning in the lake...he was the light that showed me the way out...he offered his own life to save mine. He's my gift. He's saved me more times than I can know and never hesitated to protect me. Can't I now protect him?_

He knew then all that Merlin had done for him, that he was the guardian angel that had protected him all this time. And Arthur felt the tears sting his eyes but he would not let them fall.

He swallowed, not letting the emotions take him.

Merlin still faced forward in a frozen moment, the light coming from him fading slowly as the magic ebbed away. Light sparkles drifted in the air, one by one vanishing as if by some silent force.

And Arthur knew it wouldn't last forever. The moment would melt away and Merlin would turn around and...

Then like a cannonball to the chest, Arthur felt something else. Something far more frightening than anything he could have thought. Doubt.

_The Dragon? Was I really the one to defeat it? I remember...I remember flames surrounding me then there was just the still night and yet the dragon was gone. Merlin...he lied to me...He must have..._

Arthur didn't dare let the thoughts take hold.

The moment was melting, Merlin seemed to be turning around ever so slowly. Arthur watched, the fear rising once again. He wanted it to stop, wanted the moment to stay forever frozen.

Arthurs internal sword fight between keeping the secret or betraying Merlin was consuming him. There was no clear winner, both were fighting for his heart and Arthur didn't want either of them to win. He wished he had been knocked out longer and never had to face this choice. That even hurt him, that he had to choose. Surely, _surely_ there was no question he would protect Merlin? After all, he owed him so much. After all, wasn't he his _friend?_

But the doubt crept in like an unwelcome guest, taking over his heart and mind, luring him to make the other choice.

_Merlin set the dragon free. He poisoned Morgana. Poisoned his own friend. How many times has he kept the truth from you, lied to your face? Magic will destroy him eventually. It will destroy Camelot. Do you really want to let his power take hold? Do you really want him to be more powerful than you? He cannot be trusted. You have the responsibility. Don't you want to make Uther proud of you?_

Doubt was usurping the competitor, holding its sword to their throat, winning the battle.

Arthur gulped and the room was quiet. The moment had melted. There was nothing left now but for Merlin to turn around. And Arthur wished that he could stop himself. Wished with everything he had that he hadn't seen.

Most of all he wished deep in his heart that he had Merlins courage.

And then it came. The moment was gone and Merlin turned around, thinking he would see Arthur unconscious on the floor. But instead his eyes met Arthurs and Merlin froze. The fear in his was matched by the fear in Arthurs.

Merlin couldn't speak, he stayed locked in this unspoken connection which neither of them could break.

And then Arthur let the tears come, silently whispering, "I'm sorry"

Merlin collapsed to his knees, "No", he said quietly, "No...", but Arthur had already shouted, "Guards!"  
His voice cracked slightly, "Seize the sorceror!"

And as they came rushing in, Arthur couldn't watch. He turned to face the wall, hands clenched against the surface, tears falling freely, preparing himself for the pleas of mercy.

But they never came.

And Arthur turned around to face the empty room, to face his empty heart, to face his empty courage.

The battle was over.

But he had not won.

And Arthur knew that the feeling he had at that moment would never melt away.


End file.
